Love Changes Shape
One of the lessons grief taught me is this:
Love doesn’t disappear.
It finds new ways to stay.
When someone we love dies, one of the deepest questions we may carry is: Where does the love go?
The relationship that once filled our days suddenly changes. The conversations stop. The hugs end. The familiar routines are gone.
For a time, it can feel as though love itself has been taken from us.
But over the years, I’ve come to understand something different.
Love doesn’t leave when a person does.
It changes shape.
What once lived in conversations now lives in memories.
What once arrived in a hug now arrives in a feeling.
What once came through a familiar voice now lives in the lessons, values, and love that person left behind.
I see it in my own life.
Sometimes I find myself using the same hand gestures my mother used when she spoke.
Other times I hear my father’s wisdom in words coming out of my own mouth.
In those moments, I am reminded that the people we love continue to shape us long after they are gone.
The relationship hasn’t ended.
It has changed.
For a long time, I thought healing meant learning how to live with loss.
What I eventually learned is that healing is also learning how to recognize the new ways love continues to show up in our lives.
Sometimes it appears as gratitude.
Sometimes as strength.
Sometimes as a family tradition that has been passed down through generations.
Sometimes as a quiet feeling that reminds us we are not alone.
The love we shared becomes part of who we are.
And perhaps that is one answer to the question:
Where does the love go?
It goes with us.
Into our hearts.
Into our memories.
Into the way we care for others.
Into the lives we continue to live.
Love doesn’t disappear.
It changes shape.
And in doing so, it finds new ways to stay.
💛
~ Lennie CampbellIf this reflection resonated with you, you may also enjoy reading my companion article, Where Does the Love Go? Together, these two reflections explore one of grief’s deepest questions and the quiet ways love continues long after someone we cherish is gone.
